Introducing the hoodie that pretends not to care.
Crafted from premium fleece that whispers, “I’m better than your other hoodies,” this unisex zip-up is soft enough to make you forget that comfort is a capitalist construct. Wear it to brunch, therapy, or the next apocalypse.
• 80% cotton, 20% polyester blend fleece
• Jersey-lined hood
• Split stitch double-needle sewing on all seams
• Twill neck tape
• 1 × 1 ribbing for cuffs and waistband
• Blank product sourced from Pakistan

This is a white T-shirt. Revolutionary, we know. It’s soft, comfortable, and designed for the woman who’s done pretending that “effortless style” doesn’t actually take effort. Throw it on with jeans, or don’t. The shirt will still exist.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton

• Relaxed fit

• Pre-shrunk fabric

• Side-seamed construction

• Crew neck

• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US

It’s black. It’s sleek. It’s quietly judging your plastic bottles.

This double-walled stainless steel masterpiece keeps your drink hot, cold, or somewhere in between — because balance is everything and control is an illusion. Whether you’re at the gym, in traffic, or just pretending to be productive, this bottle promises hydration with philosophical depth.

The odor-proof cap keeps secrets. The shape says, I understand form and function.

• 17 oz (500 ml)

• Dimensions: 10.5″ × 2.85″ (27 × 7 cm)

• Double-wall construction

• Glossy finish

• Insulated for hot and cold liquids (keeps the liquid hot or cold for 6 h)

• Patented ORCA coating for vibrant colors

• Hand-wash only

• Blank product sourced from China